A Notice

First of all, I’m horrifically sorry that I haven’t updated at all for at least a month or so. Circumstances in real life have come up with a startling ferocity and even as I type this, I’m not on my own computer (hasn’t been set up yet). I’m not going into details and I’m not answering questions pertaining to my leave of absence, but you can ask about the status of any of my series, or my Sudou Maasa worship blog (separate from this one, you can find the link in my blogroll). I will tell you this, though: I am not closing down yossha yossha YOSSHA! or ceasing all blogging activities. Just that at this time, I don’t have the means to sit down for an hour and make an entire, fleshed out entry with pictures and thoughtful subject matter, and if I can’t deliver that to you, then I’d rather not try to at all. If things ever settle down, you can expect me to come back in full force.

Don’t fret.

Jumping My Blogging Shark, Rofl

I’m going to get back on-track by doing something I’ve been contemplating doing as a blog post for a while now but steering clear of it because I consider it to be kind of lazy. This is posting straight Instant Messager conversations as they are. It’s done to great effect in some blogs, but in yossha yossha YOSSHA!, I’m afraid it’s just this shy of being too offbeat. In this case, however, I had a conversation with my good friend and fellow blogger Vulpi, and since she sort of spawned the entire conversation, her opening quip is central to getting the message across. I would like to be capable of translating it in a way that is more typical of me (read: boring), but after reviewing it for a total of five minutes… Nah.

Disclaimer: CJ, don’t hate me. I’m serious. Don’t. Don’t hate me because I LOVE YOU. Feminists, I do not endorse the word “bitch” as sexists do. It’s already bad enough that I have to bring that up because I’d really prefer no association with those kinds of people whatsoever, but it’s happened to me before where feministic persons have given me shit for being lax about my various assortment of words I use to refer to women by (even though I, myself, am a bitch, yes!). And Tanaka Reina fans, I have a special extended disclaimer for you.

And Now, For Something Retardedly Unusual!

Whenever I blog, I usually try to examine things from a different perspective. Because I get lost in writing. When I used to write short stories and the like, I got stuck on a train of thought and had to stop myself periodically so that I wouldn’t run into the cow standing on the tracks. Right now, I’m thinking silently to myself, “Wow, done with the really lame self-insight yet?”.

Sometimes I’ll ask myself, “What kind of blogger am I?”

Why I’m Tired Of Idols Like Aibon

The only reason I am ever excited for more Hello! Project auditions is because there is a 50% chance that someone will get through those auditions who isn’t under fifteen years old, who isn’t fucking kawaii or moé, and who has some realism in the content of their character. After much brainstorming and the announcement of the upcoming three-month Taiwanese Hello! Pro Egg audition which “[will be] seeking new members from 6-24 years old”, I’ve realized this. It’s amazing because it makes up 80% of the basis of why the original Morning Musume lineup is my ideal image of the group.

Think about it. What kinds of girls — what kind of women embodied the first generation? There was my shining example of a good H!P member, Nakazawa Yuko. The best damn leader for a lameshit Japanese pop group that there will ever be. This woman had style, class, confidence, maturity, and a voice that wasn’t tossed into a proverbial vocal meat grinder just to sound like a chipmunk on the finished product. Everyone else followed suit.

A Whole Bunch Of Thoughts But Nowhere To Put Them

I’ve been frustrated with the status of yossha yossha YOSSHA! for almost a month now. I feel as though the blogosphere is sick of me and I’ve hit a dry spot regarding topics to spew 2000 words about, which used to be my “claim to fame”. Why is blogging such a big fucking deal to me on a more than merely subconscious level? Am I becoming just like all you attention whores out there, leaping at the chance to release an exclusive PV or some groundbreaking new information into the vast sea of overlapping thoughts and words so that your penname will be attached to it forevermore and immortalized in some 300 views in a day that only serve to make you feel better about yourself?

Fuck no, I say. Fuck no. I’ve always written about things I feel from the heart and opinions that are earnest. But this lapse in blogging is pissing me off. I am in a rut and it is one lacking in creativity, bigtime. What can I do to help myself?

I Adore You, アイドル

Over the course of the months I’ve been blogging here on WordPress for, it seems I’ve been constantly obsessing and trying to discern the reasons some girls in Hello! Project are chosen as leads: to be in the front row of group pictures, get the most solo lines/precedence over group harmonies in songs, etc. This stems from both my fondness for girls who never take over a single or album song, or even make it into the middle row in a group photoshoot. This may come as no surprise to most of you, but I’ve realized through the handiness that is this monthly chart, that the wota basically control Hello! Project from the outside in.

Of course, that’s not all there is to it. Not one innocent wota is going to have a big effect on who goes where in this company, unless he’s like Densha Otoko, and that’s about the most unlikely thing to happen while I’m a Morning Musume fan. No, it takes thousands of wota showing their bona fide appreciation for a single idol, one who has managed to capture their hearts and minds in ways I cannot fathom in most cases, who gets the nudge forth by Up-Front Agency or whoever’s making decisions in H!P these days. Think Shibata Ayumi, Sugaya Risako, Suzuki Airi, Kusumi Koharu, Mano Erina, Ishikawa Rika, Takahashi Ai, or Tanaka Reina.

Starpower

If there’s something I’ve realized in the past few days, it’s that sometimes Tsunku has the entirely wrong group of people sing the songs he conceives. There are quite a few songs in Hello! Project that just work with the type of person singing them — “Momoiro Kataomoi”, Matsuura Aya; “Tokaikko Junjou”, ℃-ute; “Renai Revolution 21″, Morning Musume, etc. But others, namely Berryz Koubou’s “Semi” which is going to be my primary example of the opposite effect, it really doesn’t work out so well, and that’s more than a little sad. I could easily see “Semi” as a big hit with the right person singing it. Berryz and their youthful, squeaky, near-identical pitches were not the right people for “Semi”. Berryz is a bastion of no talent. There’s some good eggs there, like Miyabi, Momoko, sometimes Yurina, Chinami, but for the most part, everyone sucks at putting emotion into their lines. They’ve improved on that, since their days of “Semi”, but it’s still nothing to boast about for the group. I could think of a million other good points about them than their singing.

My point is, I only really listen to “Semi” to hear Tsunku in the background. He sounds amazing. There is no doubt in my mind that Tsunku can sing good, and if he does a solo “Semi” some day with a complete band backing up him, I can die happy. But because I listen for Tsunku’s voice, the headache-inducing squeakiness of Berryz’s voices clouding over his is only a nuisance for me. It’s almost sad — I was able to enjoy the song with his vocals, but before that I never really got into it.

On Wota and Idols

OPENING NOTE: This post is a tad bit more disturbing than my usual, even though it doesn’t start out that way. Especially watch out for the image at the end. I’m saying this on behalf of the squeamish folks who may be reading this.

I’ve held some feelings of uneasiness about idols lately. Maybe it’s because of my growing involvement in the entire corporate scheme of them — I became slightly infatuated with Li Chun a month or so ago, and that was my first real interest I took in what idols are originally designed for: as an emotional conduit of sorts. I felt things for her I hadn’t felt in years. I wouldn’t be quick to call it “love”, but… I was very, very partial to her. I still want that T-shirt + wristband + two-photo set. I still look at her and sigh blissfully, because there’s just something I really like and admire about her and I can’t quite figure out what that is. I don’t necessarily want to “do” her, or chew on her chubby little face — I just think, you know, given the chance… I would probably take her to a nice restaurant or something, buy gifts for her, the kinds of lame things that lame geeky boys do for girls they’re interested in and the girls take pity on them (sometimes) and go out with them for a little while.

Have I really sunk this low? Jesus Christ.

ファッション チェック: I Wonder If She’s Wearing Boots Under There

(Yes, I was strangely inclined to put the title in katakana. It says “fasshon chekku”.)

After eating dinner and having A Moment to “Aruiteru”, I have realized two things. One, this is not the end of Morning Musume. Two, “Mikan” has been out for a week now and I still haven’t critiqued their outfits yet? What is wrong with me?

Ignoring that post before (I still promise I will get around to theorizing on something there, just the tl;dr has been beaten out of me today and all I can manage right now is some sharp, on-the-point snark and some thoughts on how the “Mikan” costumes reflect each girl’s individual personality to “ROMAN”), uh… Here, have a comparison image ganked shamelessly from MorningBerryz (which, by the way, I can totally replace with something else if he disapproves; I just chose this because it showed a full view of each girl).

Oh yeah! You got a chance…

Starting from the left…

Sorrowful Women Smiling In The Nude

(I seem to be sucking at titles lately. Have another cheesy pun.)

So I’m looking at covers for Morning Musume’s past three singles, right? Specifically, the regular edition cover of “Onna ni Sachi Are”, but we’ll look at the covers of other singles just so this isn’t an entirely wimpy blog post.