The Most Beautiful Ongaku Gatas Member In The Room Isn’t Rika Or Yossie…

It’s Sengoku Minami, and today is her 17th birthday in the United States. Happy birthday, Mina!

Mina is my favorite member of Ongaku Gatas, despite the fact that I couldn’t give two shits for the music, tour schedule, or Hello! Project alumnae of that group. She’s just absolutely drop-dead gorgeous in every sense of the word. I can’t even think of going one more day without her having a solo photobook but I know I’m going to have to because she’s probably not on UFA’s “To Pimp” list. Hell, now that Mano is gone, I’m not sure who is. It’d be much more productive of them to continue to let the alumnae of the group sit on their long-cultivated fame and focus on building decent idols out of all the Eggs in the group (including Korenaga the former Egg).

In truth, Minami is not really good at much. She has no interesting special talents, not much of a dancer, not much of a singer. Even her personality is flat (for now, but I feel it’s something she’s trying to work on). But c’mon, how can you look at a face like that and say “sry give me more Mano plz”? Especially when Mano isn’t much better in the talent department…

Musume Overview: Yaguchi Mari Edition

The next member of Morning Musume’s second generation is one I affectionately refer to as “Jodie”. She’s extremely well-known as a member of the subgroups Minimoni and Tanpopo, and as generally being a very family-friendly ex-Musume. Of course, I’m speaking of Yaguchi Mari.

Jodie’s pretty awesome all around, and chances are, you don’t need me to tell you or try to force you to believe that. It’s popular belief that she was the brain behind Minimoni, which gives her additional awesome points for having the creative drive to come up with a new group, and also for convicing whomever is responsible for ratifying new H!P units to do so for hers. I often am perturbed by how so many of these talented girls put their careers in the hands of others, instead of taking a more independant route and writing, composing, and perhaps even arranging their own music. But Jodie is the one semi-confirmed imaginative mind we’ve had in Hello! Project, so that’s kind of cool.

Musume Overview: Yasuda Kei Edition

The first generation is finally finished, and I’m becoming lazy about writing these things. But now I get to cover the three-member second generation, which I think was only added to the group for more harmony in songs, since…that was generally what they did when they were in Momusu. But as individuals, they’re quite interesting. I mean, I really like Sayaka, she was kind of cute, and Mari—

Whoa. Hello there, Yasuda Kei.

Goodbye, Mutou

I am heartbroken. Not entirely, since Mutou Mika is not my favorite Ongaku Gatas member, but I was saddened when I heard the news that Mika is to graduate from Hello! Project. I shed one tear, not only for the loss, but because of the slew of shallow assholes who are going to be writing posts saying things not unlike “good riddance” in response to this recent development. Those people make me sick. It’s good that Mucchi is leaving, if that is the degree of respect she garners from our little blogging community.

I’ve said my words. Have a good life, Mika.

Hi, Minnasan - See You Again

Considering that there’s a brand-new worship blog for all things Junjun, it’s just about pointless to keep ‘Hi, Minnasan’ segments going here when there’s something entirely dedicated to her. The reason I started this corner here in the first place is because there wasn’t anything remotely like this for Region when, meanwhile, there’s a Tanaka Reina fan blog, a Mitsui Aika one, etc. I feel like my job has basically been completed now, but if there’s ever a time in the future where I think ‘Hi, Minnasan’ segments will be needed, you can bet your ass on seeing them.

All my past Minnasan posts can be located via the category on this blog. Let’s go through all the pictures I was planning on posting…

Hi, Minnasan - Do What You Want, ‘Cause A Pirate Is Free Part 2

Oh, hey, I actually have something interesting to say here for once! According to this reputable source, a Chinese guide book (how to learn the Chinese language, and Chinese food recipes from the members of Morning Musume) is to be published on June 30th, 2008. The first thirty-two pages will be of photographs and the title is Morning Musume no Kantan Chuugoku-go Kaiwa. Junjun and Linlin are supposed to be “leading” it, which I guess means the rest of the Musume will be playing secondary to them in this.

This is not a full-blown photobook, regardless of what you may hear. Just a Chinese book thing.

Hi, Minnasan - Do What You Want, ‘Cause A Pirate Is Free Part 1

Let’s see… Ridiculous blue sequin headscarf, red and white striped tank top, netting over said tank top, horrifying red plaid skirt…

Yep, they’re singing “Hyokkori Hyoutanjima”.

Hi, Minnasan - Best Part Of Waking Up Is…

…for me, it’s Junjun making cute faces, seeing as I don’t drink Folgers in any cup.

Destiney Heartful

“Resonant Blue” has really been the sort of single to take everyone on a rollercoaster. I’ve had my fair share of moments where I’ve been either pissed off at Morning Musume, Tsunku, Up-Front Agency, my peers, or all of the above for producing what I felt was a worthless song and video combination. As the release date approaches, tensions mount high for me. I am still not as big a fan of this single as I am of “Love Machine”, but I’m hoping in earnest that it’ll sell. Whether or not those figures are earned honestly (there’s a different version of the PV on basically every limited edition, which to me sounds like an assholeish marketing scheme).

In truth, I no longer really hate the song. I actually am okay with the song, but I can’t listen to it twice in a row or else I will get a headache bordering on near-migraine proportions. Reina’s voice is just that intolerable. What happened to you, Reina? When I look into the past, you used to be cool. I loved your simple black hair, your good vocals, your interesting ability to roll your “R”s, your attitude. You were almost more mature then than you are now, as an idol nearing adulthood. And yet, all of that is gone. You’re pretentious. You’re overpraised. You sound like a whiny brat when you sing. You’re such an attention whore that it’s gone past the point of being a little endearing and is just plain annoying.

Why, Reina?

Tell The Tooth Fairy I Said “Hi”

Suzuki Airi is a well-known idol for three reasons: she is a member of ℃-ute and basically does all the singing everytime; she is a member of trio Buono!; and she has adorable scary teeth. So, naturally, when I see a new picture of her, my thought processes go something like “This is Airi. She is a member of ℃-ute and Buono. Aww, look at her scary teeth! I’m so glad she hasn’t gotten them fixed like That Whore Sugaya.”

When I saw this new picture (℃-ute has been apparently making rounds at magazines lately; I guess the Kids’ Golden Age is finally here), I first evaluated everyone. Maimi is hot, Ume is hot, everyone else is still fug… Yep, everything seemed as it was in the last magazine photoshoot.

I noticed something was amiss with Airi’s smile. And then it dawned on me… I think Osuzu has lost a tooth.

“How adorable!”