Disclaimer: If you love Sugaya Risako as an idol, don’t read this. If you enjoy ejaculating on Sugaya Risako’s pictures, don’t read this and GTFO. This is my most negative post yet, in all likelihood. I’m sorry if this “offends” anyone, but I have to get this out once and for all. If you still read this even though I’ve warned you, if you still got mad at me and left a comment telling me off, the joke’s not on me. It’s on you.

Alright, out with it: I can’t fucking stand this girl.

…I know, that’s a very strong statement, especially coming from one human being about another. I’ve never even known her personally. So maybe we should say that I can’t stand what Up-Front Agency has made her? That theory would sit quite well with me, in retrospect, since the adorable little Risako from the days of the Minimoni movie and 4KIDS as well as earlier Berryz singles doesn’t give me the urge to KILL every time I look at her/hear her voice/watch her in “Anata Nashi de wa Ikite Yukenai”. No, I’m afraid it’s the Risako of today, the one who never misses a chance to stare coyingly at the camera, whose voice is so epically annoying that I rarely listen to Berryz songs (which she is pretty much featured prominently in 24/7; thanks, assholes!), whose presence ruins virtually every Berryz PV and group picture because she is always pushed to the front instead of letting other girls have a chance, but someone in UFA must fancy her or otherwise her name and face wouldn’t be plastered all over Berryz’s.

Yep, Risako just fucking sucks.

While you’re sitting there scratching your head in bemusement, I’ve gone into discussion about this before, thinking a great deal about Risako’s image and the position she’s in at Hello! Project, and the only conclusion I could come to was that she’s “pedobait” and that’s why wota and UFA love her so dearly. To me, that describes her in a nutshell. She is so completely sexually precocious. Would she come across that way to me if it weren’t for pictures like this, though?

I wonder.

So we’ve established already that I don’t care for her that much because I think UFA plays up the physically and sexually appealing aspect of her character far too much than they should be, considering SHE’S FUCKING THIRTEEN YEARS OLD, FOR CHRIST’S SAKE. Well, see…it’s not just that. No, that’s admittedly the more sympathetic side of my blinding rage when confronted with a picture of this girl smirking at me. In all of the pictures of her that have ever been taken while she’s under H!P, Risako seems to have three facial expressions. Let’s go through the list!

Pouty face. Also, re: Thirteen-year-old skank. What the fuck, I ask you, UFA. I suppose this is how she looks when she wants someone to feel sorry for her and give her some ice cream. (Knowing most of her wota, though, it’ll probably be on her face. Sorry, Risako!)

Stupid bitch smirk. Also on display is her lovely, oh-so attractive fuzz marking her hair line and her Dumbo ears. Really, the only pretty thing about this girl is her face, and even then 99.9% of the time she’s got a real ugly expression on it.

Finally, the pièce de résistance: Risako shows us her nice side by proving what a huge, immature brat she is! Check that out. I don’t even know if I could replicate such volumes of spoiled bitchiness in an emoticon. “:|”? “:/”? Neither one does this excellent, holier-than-thou aura Sugaya’s radiating in this picture the correct amount of justice. (Bonus: Cleavage that, arguably, should not be there!)

She has one more — a flirty grin — but we already saw that in the opening of this post. Plus, she almost never grins, so we can safely assume it’s not a regular expression of hers. (Thank god, leave the grins to the people who actually mean them.)

So we’ve covered the oversexualization part, the bratty attitude part… What’s left?

Oh yeah. Marketing.

I don’t think I would care about Sugaya’s presence at all if she wasn’t the primary Berryz girl. In some way, yes, this comes back to Maasa being my personally favorite Berry and also generally one of the most unliked members (she’s ranked bottom on quite a few Berryz member popularity polls, while Shimisaki sometimes swoops in and claims that title for herself). Others say Maasa’s just below Yurina (who is sometimes part of the Risako-Miyabi-Momoko lineup, sometimes the Maasa-Chinami-Shimisaki one) and, as the four primary Berryz girls each have a PB, Maa should logically be the next one to receive hers. Personally, I think they’re going to give the four primary Berryz girls three PBs each before they ever even consider Maasa.

Of course, I can’t hold this against anybody. No, because there’s really no telling why UFA’s got obvious favoritism toward only a few select girls who don’t have nearly enough talent to carry the group (if anything, I’d keep Miyabi in as a main vocalist, Momoko needs to quit that terrifying pitch she keeps her voice at 24/7, and that would be the end of it. I’d also get the group some stricter vocal lessons, because there is fuck-all if any emotion in Berryz songs. This goes for Maasa as well). It’s just such a waste on Sugaya, anymore. Right now, I just found out she has a THIRD photobook coming out. My initial thought was “Hmm, I wonder if she’ll actually show us her tits in this one?”. You can only tease them so long, and since she’s so mature-looking for her age, it “shouldn’t really matter”, right? (Sarcasm. I’m using sarcasm.)

I mean, she fingered a bagel and licked cream off of her fucking hand in her first PB, for Christ’s sake. What more evidence do you people need? It’s so ridiculous that an idol could make me feel this pissed off, but then, I think — so many people swoon about how they dream of marrying their Hello! Project idol-of-choice. It just seems that Sugaya had the reverse effect on me.

But I swear I have never in my life ever felt the urge to punch someone I’ve never met in the face, but I would do it in a minute, both to Sugaya and to all of the people in Up-Front Agency responsible for producing such a worthless idol. She doesn’t put her all into performing — instead, she half-asses things and cries when she gets reprimanded, and people fall all over themselves with pity for her. I don’t give a shit how young she was back then, she’s still as self-centered as she always was in Berryz, and will always be. There’s another video of one of those old dance practices where Miyabi was so sick she could barely stand and practice with the other girls, but still kept doing the hand motions. Ishimura Maiha cried because she was a perfectionist, not because “the mean teacher was yelling at her for being cute and young!!”. All it takes is a little bit of effort. If Sugaya really gives a shit to do this, then I would expect her to do the same thing that Miyabi did. And since she doesn’t, she is more worthy of my contempt than my time or money.