(I seem to be sucking at titles lately. Have another cheesy pun.)

So I’m looking at covers for Morning Musume’s past three singles, right? Specifically, the regular edition cover of “Onna ni Sachi Are”, but we’ll look at the covers of other singles just so this isn’t an entirely wimpy blog post.

YAY, DARK CIRCLES!

One thing I first noticed about this image is their horrific dark circles. It’s well-know that idols don’t get a whole lot of sleep — something the lovely Miss Ishiguro Aya let slip in an interview post-Morning Musume (they average about three hours; probably why it was notable to Maki in one of her blog entries that she slept for twelve hours). Of course, then again, it might just be the terrible makeup… But both Mittsi and China-tachi seem to be lacking in the mysterious darkness underneath their eyes (being relatively new Musume), so it’s safe to assume the lighting in this photo brought out the worst in everyone’s faces.

I’m pretty sick of Koharu, by now. She reeks of arrogance and in every picture of her, she just shouts “LOOK AT ME! LOOK AT ME!” to me. This is especially sad because I used to like her a lot, but I’m not going to sit here and whine about the days of modest, unselfish idols.

Curiously, Ai radiates the same thing in this picture. Maybe she’s pissed that she has to stand next to the Pandas. And speaking of the Pandas, Li reminds me an awful lot of Kaori’s spacy persona in this picture. She’s sort of dazed, and the dramatic wind on her hair helps create that effect that she’s in the clouds moreso. I like it.

Qian is, for once, not smiling at the wrong time! (See: “LOVE Machine” group image.) But there’s really nothing extraordinary about her facial expression or her pose, which is a shame. I’d really like for her to stand out as a Musume, along with Li.

Mittsi… I’m not sure what to say about her look. She’s adorable, I really, really like her as a Musume, and I guess she is working on her own for this photo. It’s a coy smile. Is it a coy smile? I think it is.

Niigaki Risa is kind of sexy, yet kind of not. I can’t describe it. I think she and Eri are the ones who are working the camera the most in the picture, though, which is a Very Good Thing, considering how little-known they are (Risa’s name is definitely more known with the public than Eri’s).

Michishige Sayumi’s hair is gorgeous, and I’ve maintained this throughout seeing all the “Onna” photos. But her pose… It would’ve worked a lot more if she wasn’t looking the other way. I wonder what she and Reina were staring at, though — did Hard Gay (foooooooo!) perhaps bust into the studio suddenly and tried to distract the girls in the midst of picture-taking as a test of their focusing abilities?

Eri is, like I said, one of the two girls really working the camera in this picture (along with Risa). I really like her pose, it’s edgy and jives with the single. I think she portrayed the song quite well through her body language, and that speaks miles for Eri when compared to the other girls, who all tried but didn’t quite make it.

Lastly, Tanaka. Oh, Tanaka. Hon, you stick out like a sore thumb in this picture and it’s almost abysmally pathetic. I would’ve expected more out of the so-called “Wonky-Eyed Sex Bomb”, the “perfect Musume”. She looks as though her heart stopped. Whatever was distracting her and Sayumi (or perhaps Sayumi was distracted by Reina), I really hope it’s not still there for the CD covers of “Mikan”.

Moving on…

IT’S THE SEXY MAFIA!

I have to say, I heavily prefer the limited edition A cover to this regular version. They just look sexier on it. Thighlicious, I’d say. Am I creeping you out yet?

That being said, I really hate some of the hairstyles used for this single. Koharu’s, Sayumi’s, Risa’s, and Ai’s are just horrific and should never been seen in public, ever. (I also dislike Yossie’s, but that’s more of a personal matter.)

First off, Mittsi creates an incredible presence on this cover. I really, really like this girl. Have I said that before? It’s as if she adapted to being a Musume very quickly, and it worked to her advantage. And she’s not boring like Eri, unfortunately, is. I hope this girl stays on-top of her game like she’s been since her debut and doesn’t devolve into a boring idol persona or (worse) becomes self-absorbed.

Koharu looks, plainly, like shit. She just doesn’t give me the sense of maturity, probably because she’s still so young. Her entire demeanor on this cover radiates, say, prissy girl trying to be rebellious but sort of failing at it. I suppose it’s good, in its own way, just I don’t buy it.

Yossie is awesome, but her hairstyle for that entire single just bothered me. Something about it… But otherwise, she performed perfectly, vocal-wise and in the PV — to be expected from such a long-time member. It was a nice single, considering it was her last, and she got a good solo moment towards the end.

Sayumi’s not really working the sexy, but it seems like she tried (I can tell because she looks totally vapid), so points to her.

Risa’s sexy level increased by NINE-THOUSAAAAAAAAAAND! (forgive the joke). She’s like Yossie in that she’s on-top of her game (again, to be expected from a long-time member). But it didn’t really hit me until I made out her pose from behind Eri. The whole thing… Girl was workin’ it. Kudos, Risa.

Now, as for Reina… She was right in her element, methinks. Her hair is sort of almost bordering on atrocious, but somehow, she managed to pull it off to where it worked with her hair, and I find that at least a little bit admirable. A bit clueless in the face, though, like she wasn’t right there, spot-on. You win some, you lose some, I guess.

Fujimoto Miki was kind of unintentionally hilarious in this picture. It’s probably her costume — around the time this single came out, people were bellyaching that it was exactly like the one from, say, “ROMAN ~My Dear Boy~”, no? Or was it a different single? Either way, if they did reuse the costume… That’s cheap, UFA, but I ain’t gonna patronize you for it, since the PV sucked, too.

Takahashi Ai looks bad. And not bad like Eri does (wow), but I mean she’s still radiating arrogance and it’s terribly distracting. Her hair is bad, to boot. Somehow, her expression is reminding me of…an alien? (Yeah, I don’t get it, either.)

Which brings us to ERI! Oh my god, she’s badass, just like Risa and Mittsi. Her pose really works for her, and I definitely get the feeling of the single from her expression. It’s a shame she’s not more popular, because I think she’s more of a humorous “normal”-type girl, and if we had some singles that kind of brought that out, I think she’d get a chance to shine and it would help her tremendously.

Here’s to another mixed cover review.

EGAO YES IDOLS! …OH WAIT, THAT’S A BLOG

I sort of hate this cover, for the background. It’s too pink. This is why I prefer the limited edition A version, because the gray jives more with the tone of the PV (which had terrible lighting and was mostly in grayscale, but who am I to pick about tiny details like that when most sane fans are going “OMGWTFBBQ HAWT IDOLZZ!!!!!”?). But then again, I absolutely hate “Mr. Moonlight ~Ai no Big Band~”’s cover, because it said nothing about the PV or the song (wtf, outer space? Astronauts? What were they smoking?).

It’s the arrangement of the girls on this cover that amuses me. Again and again, I am struck by Reina’s shortness. She’s like the new Yaguchi Mari. Which isn’t a bad thing, because I absolutely adore Marippe, but when you place her next to much taller girls… It really makes her look bad. For this picture, she’s wearing her hair in some very pretty twintails, which is nice, but I hate her smile. It’s dopey like it was in the “Onna” group photo (which I bitched about here, if you’re interested).

Miki looks a mite too professional for my tastes, but then again, that’s just me.

Risa is pretty.

Yossie…Yossie looks more like she’s laughing and not really smiling. Which isn’t a bad thing, I’m just pointing it out.

Sayumi! Oh, Sayumi. I have a “thing” for braids, and Sayu pretty much set it off with this picture. I don’t quite dig the traditional kimonos that she and Ai are wearing (they look out-of-place compared to the other girls’ relatively “normal” everyday clothing), but that’s life and Sayu compensates by having BRAIDS!!! Something bothers me about her expression, though.

Koharu, for once, isn’t bothering the living hell out of me. She just looks tired, as if she’s saying, “Okay, I don’t feel like being an attention whore today. I think I’ll let you guys take over for me.”

Mittsi! Mittsi, Mittsi, Mittsi! This was her debut single with Morning Musume and I’m so glad that they decided to place her in the center of the group like they did! I think she truly emanates the idea of “Egao”, whatwith smiling genuinely. All in all, I think she looks the best out of all the girls. Outstanding, Mittsi.

Ai… Ai am not feeling Ai. (Ooh, bad pun.) That’s all there simply is to it.

Eri looks horrific. The costume they gave her and the way they did her hair just makes me think “grandma”, and not in the Makoto or Mittsi way. More like the “slow grandma, who smells like an old person and is irritable”. Definitely not a good look for her. She doesn’t even seem like she’s smiling that much, either. It’s like a smirk.

Overall, the past three singles have done a better job of translating the songs’ meanings and reflecting the looks of the PVs than most Morning Musume singles (“Manatsu no Kousen”, anyone?). Still not quite as spot-on as I would hope, but you can’t win them all, can you?

‘Til next time.