And Now, For Something Retardedly Unusual!

Whenever I blog, I usually try to examine things from a different perspective. Because I get lost in writing. When I used to write short stories and the like, I got stuck on a train of thought and had to stop myself periodically so that I wouldn’t run into the cow standing on the tracks. Right now, I’m thinking silently to myself, “Wow, done with the really lame self-insight yet?”.

Sometimes I’ll ask myself, “What kind of blogger am I?”

Why I’m Tired Of Idols Like Aibon

The only reason I am ever excited for more Hello! Project auditions is because there is a 50% chance that someone will get through those auditions who isn’t under fifteen years old, who isn’t fucking kawaii or moé, and who has some realism in the content of their character. After much brainstorming and the announcement of the upcoming three-month Taiwanese Hello! Pro Egg audition which “[will be] seeking new members from 6-24 years old”, I’ve realized this. It’s amazing because it makes up 80% of the basis of why the original Morning Musume lineup is my ideal image of the group.

Think about it. What kinds of girls — what kind of women embodied the first generation? There was my shining example of a good H!P member, Nakazawa Yuko. The best damn leader for a lameshit Japanese pop group that there will ever be. This woman had style, class, confidence, maturity, and a voice that wasn’t tossed into a proverbial vocal meat grinder just to sound like a chipmunk on the finished product. Everyone else followed suit.

A Whole Bunch Of Thoughts But Nowhere To Put Them

I’ve been frustrated with the status of yossha yossha YOSSHA! for almost a month now. I feel as though the blogosphere is sick of me and I’ve hit a dry spot regarding topics to spew 2000 words about, which used to be my “claim to fame”. Why is blogging such a big fucking deal to me on a more than merely subconscious level? Am I becoming just like all you attention whores out there, leaping at the chance to release an exclusive PV or some groundbreaking new information into the vast sea of overlapping thoughts and words so that your penname will be attached to it forevermore and immortalized in some 300 views in a day that only serve to make you feel better about yourself?

Fuck no, I say. Fuck no. I’ve always written about things I feel from the heart and opinions that are earnest. But this lapse in blogging is pissing me off. I am in a rut and it is one lacking in creativity, bigtime. What can I do to help myself?

The Most Beautiful Ongaku Gatas Member In The Room Isn’t Rika Or Yossie…

It’s Sengoku Minami, and today is her 17th birthday in the United States. Happy birthday, Mina!

Mina is my favorite member of Ongaku Gatas, despite the fact that I couldn’t give two shits for the music, tour schedule, or Hello! Project alumnae of that group. She’s just absolutely drop-dead gorgeous in every sense of the word. I can’t even think of going one more day without her having a solo photobook but I know I’m going to have to because she’s probably not on UFA’s “To Pimp” list. Hell, now that Mano is gone, I’m not sure who is. It’d be much more productive of them to continue to let the alumnae of the group sit on their long-cultivated fame and focus on building decent idols out of all the Eggs in the group (including Korenaga the former Egg).

In truth, Minami is not really good at much. She has no interesting special talents, not much of a dancer, not much of a singer. Even her personality is flat (for now, but I feel it’s something she’s trying to work on). But c’mon, how can you look at a face like that and say “sry give me more Mano plz”? Especially when Mano isn’t much better in the talent department…

Musume Overview: Yaguchi Mari Edition

The next member of Morning Musume’s second generation is one I affectionately refer to as “Jodie”. She’s extremely well-known as a member of the subgroups Minimoni and Tanpopo, and as generally being a very family-friendly ex-Musume. Of course, I’m speaking of Yaguchi Mari.

Jodie’s pretty awesome all around, and chances are, you don’t need me to tell you or try to force you to believe that. It’s popular belief that she was the brain behind Minimoni, which gives her additional awesome points for having the creative drive to come up with a new group, and also for convicing whomever is responsible for ratifying new H!P units to do so for hers. I often am perturbed by how so many of these talented girls put their careers in the hands of others, instead of taking a more independant route and writing, composing, and perhaps even arranging their own music. But Jodie is the one semi-confirmed imaginative mind we’ve had in Hello! Project, so that’s kind of cool.

Musume Overview: Yasuda Kei Edition

The first generation is finally finished, and I’m becoming lazy about writing these things. But now I get to cover the three-member second generation, which I think was only added to the group for more harmony in songs, since…that was generally what they did when they were in Momusu. But as individuals, they’re quite interesting. I mean, I really like Sayaka, she was kind of cute, and Mari—

Whoa. Hello there, Yasuda Kei.

Goodbye, Mutou

I am heartbroken. Not entirely, since Mutou Mika is not my favorite Ongaku Gatas member, but I was saddened when I heard the news that Mika is to graduate from Hello! Project. I shed one tear, not only for the loss, but because of the slew of shallow assholes who are going to be writing posts saying things not unlike “good riddance” in response to this recent development. Those people make me sick. It’s good that Mucchi is leaving, if that is the degree of respect she garners from our little blogging community.

I’ve said my words. Have a good life, Mika.

Hi, Minnasan - See You Again

Considering that there’s a brand-new worship blog for all things Junjun, it’s just about pointless to keep ‘Hi, Minnasan’ segments going here when there’s something entirely dedicated to her. The reason I started this corner here in the first place is because there wasn’t anything remotely like this for Region when, meanwhile, there’s a Tanaka Reina fan blog, a Mitsui Aika one, etc. I feel like my job has basically been completed now, but if there’s ever a time in the future where I think ‘Hi, Minnasan’ segments will be needed, you can bet your ass on seeing them.

All my past Minnasan posts can be located via the category on this blog. Let’s go through all the pictures I was planning on posting…

Hi, Minnasan - Do What You Want, ‘Cause A Pirate Is Free Part 2

Oh, hey, I actually have something interesting to say here for once! According to this reputable source, a Chinese guide book (how to learn the Chinese language, and Chinese food recipes from the members of Morning Musume) is to be published on June 30th, 2008. The first thirty-two pages will be of photographs and the title is Morning Musume no Kantan Chuugoku-go Kaiwa. Junjun and Linlin are supposed to be “leading” it, which I guess means the rest of the Musume will be playing secondary to them in this.

This is not a full-blown photobook, regardless of what you may hear. Just a Chinese book thing.

Hi, Minnasan - Do What You Want, ‘Cause A Pirate Is Free Part 1

Let’s see… Ridiculous blue sequin headscarf, red and white striped tank top, netting over said tank top, horrifying red plaid skirt…

Yep, they’re singing “Hyokkori Hyoutanjima”.